D E
I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town.
A7 D
I believe in God and Senator Dodd and in keeping old Castro down.
D E
And when it came my time to serve, I knew better dead than red.
A7 D
But when I got to my ol' draft board, buddy this is what I said:
<chorus>:
D
"Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen,
E
And I always carry a purse.
A7 D
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse.
D E
Oh, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt.
A7
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm going to school,
D
And I'm working in a defense plant.
D
I got a dislocated disc, and a racked up back,
E
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs,
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A7
And when the bombshell hits I get epileptic fits
D
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.
D
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes,
E
I can hardly reach my knees.
A7 D
And if the enemy came close to me, I'd probably start to sneeze."
<chorus>
D E
I hate Chou En Lai and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see,
A7 D
That someone's gotta go over there, and that someone isn't me.
D
So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em hell,
E
Yeah, kill me a thousand or so.
A7
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore,
D
Well I'll be the first to go.
<chorus>
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